Happy Holidays to everyone who has or will be celebrating a holiday this season. Today's Winter Solstice, so I'm excited. I'm also a little annoyed, as I am each year, that I've allowed it to get lost in the Christmas chaos. (We, or I, celebrate Solstice and Christmas. My husband's not pagan) I wanted to start a tradition of getting Molly a small earth-centered gift for Solstice each year. This year it was to be a fairy tale book- any one would do, but we haven't had a chance to shop since discovering that we can afford some modest gifts. However, we'll be making baker's clay ornaments tomorrow. Or, rather I will be doing so while M watches from her Bumbo seat.
Meanwhile, her grandparents are showering her with books about Christ. I'm fine with that, as I want her to learn about a variety of traditions, and it's a part of her family. However, it is a wake up call that as she ages, I'm going to have to be much more involved with church and my circle or their influence will be what she learns most. That sounds like I think they are part of an insidious cult- I don't. I just prefer, like any mom, that I she learns alot about my faith. I ranted at length about this in my blog.
Anyone here raising kids in a faith you weren't raised in? Are you encountering problems? I'm afraid as she ages it'll create some discomfort between the grandparents and me. My paganness has never really come up, although they're aware vaguely. Of course it'll become an issue more as they discuss things with M. I hate conflict so I'm feeling anxious a little bit. I am uncomfortable I guess because although a blend of faiths is perfectly comfortable to me, they may be quite offended if for instance, Molly someday mentions that Mama says Jesus is one of many prophets/God figures like Krishna or Buddha. I'm insecure about being seen as a weirdo in the family. I used to be very confrontational and "out of the closet" but as my enthusiadm for attending circle dwindled, it's been less important to me. Now I want to get more involved but it could be weird with family...
Thanks for letting me vent in a community. I promis I don't want this to become my own sounding board. Chime in with posts on any topic anytime. I'm planning to promote the community a little as soon as i can get responses from other mods to get permission.
What kind of activities are you doing with your kids this year? Is this time of year important in your life at all? Are the holidays religious or family-oriented?
My husband and I were both raised Catholic. He still considers himself one, more or less, and all our family members are Catholic - so I am a lone pagan among Papists. :p
It's not really an issue - everyone is comfortable with everyone else. My only concern is, like you, I want to be sure my son is raised with at least an appreciation for what I hold to be sacred. And that puts a lot of responsiblity on me, especially since I am a solitary witch. I have to invent the traditions I want to pass on to him.
My whole family is Catholic and (also true of my husband and his family), then after we had our son, we started going to a Lutheran church. Other religions that appealed to us were Quaker, Unitarian Universalist and Pagan. We ended with Lutheran because we found a nice congregation and we can happily attend.
My whole family thinks I have three heads and I'm branded a weirdo for this bizarre lifestyle choice I have made.
I don't talk to them about church, which is too bad because my husband and I are both grooving on it and getting lots of enjoyment/spiritual foundation from it.
In terms of Holiday, my son is 18 months so mostly it's about good intentions going no where right now. I consider Christmas a season and I have acknowledged the following: St. Nicholas Day, St. Lucia Day, Solstice, Christmas Eve/Day, Boxing Day and Ephiphany. I think the idea of glomming everything into one day CHRISTMAS is a mistake. It's better to honor a series of traditions within the home that show both giving and recieving to self and others.
I love this group by the way. When I saw you posted on it, I wanted to thank you for writing.
I am not only raising kids in a faith that isn't what I was raised but also the opposite of my husband, who is LDS sort of. LOl That means he is very disenchanted with the church and its dogma but still believes in the scriptures etc. He is weird and has issues, what can I say LOL I am just thankful we don't have to go to that church, no offense to anyone here who is LDS, my experiences were my own and negative. I have many close friends who are LDS and I adore them and respect their beliefs.
ANYHOO.....back to your question.....we just had this discussion b/c we had sort of avoided it for the most part up til now. Questions start to come that can only be explained spiritually. So we are teaching them both. My older kids are still finding their own ways, altho my daughter identifies as pagan, she doesn't really do anything. My son believes in God/Goddess but other than that doens't really thing or talk about it much otherwise. I am feeling like you that I really want to make the weight and time equal in our house so that they get all sides as well as teaching them about Buddhism which I am also very attached to.
That said I haven't really had time/energy to make that happen yet so I am sad. I am determined next year to really make Solstice as big as Christmas and on through the year. As long as I don't do spells, Dh is fine with it all b/c LDS believe not only in heavenly father but also a heavenly mother, so he is cool with the Goddess.
My family is mostly very traditional Christian/Baptist. They don't really know how Pagan I am. I just don't discuss it. I tend to only discuss things that we agree on..chickenshit I know...and we don't see them often either. I am also uncomfortable with confrontation. This year my mom got my oldest daughter a cross necklace and she raised her eyebrow at me and said Nana doesn't know what I believe??? And I said, have you discussed it with her? And she said no and I said well neither have I, its not my business honey. I told her Personally I am comfortable with a cross as a symbol but wouldn't wear it around I don't think so as not be feel fake. It is complicated, isn';t it??
Wishing you peace as you puzzle....hope this helps somehow, it helped me to write about it! Thanks for the opportunity!